over.

Maybe it wasn't right from the start.
I tried to smile at you today, but I couldnt bear to stare into your eyes. I felt guilty. I felt helpless. I wanted to mend things, but I can't.

It's funny how a small little thing went to a big screwed up thing for me. I think I overthought too much and read the situation then differently. Ugh why was I SO stupid. The newspaper horoscopes said that I needed to give up and get over the things that have been holding me back, and if I let go, I'll have a much better and easier life. It totally spoke to me and I just felt pointless to hold on to something that's not worth it anymore.
He said I was out of your mind. You didn't talk about me anymore. You didn't think about me anymore. You had nothing to do with me anymore.

I felt disheartened. Sad of course, but I managed to get over it. And each time something bad happens, I handle it better and better. And now I just don't feel as pain as I felt before.
I'm done and over you. I'm sorry for the stupid dramas I've caused. It's been 8 months. Goodbye now.

BAPTISM POST WILL BE UP ON SUNDAY!!! KEEP READING!!! 

Tired. Just tired. I'm sick and tired of all the nonsense and bs that I've been holding up and keeping in my heart. I can't take it any further. I'm feeling vexed. I can't think straight. I'm not happy now. I'm annoyed. 
Family. Friends. Enough of all these freaking dramas. If I had the chance to choose whether to live or not, I'd rather die now. It's rough these few days. I'm praying. I know it's wrong to say I'd rather die but I can't help it. 
When I was in school today, I said I was tired. I was not tired. I was sad. Unhappy. Upset about what happened on Sunday. But can I tell? No. Who can I trust? Nobody. They'll still judge you anyway. 

So many things I haven't completed. The incomplete things make me not able to think straight. Why does school likes to do this to us? Why do people around me keep giving me pressure? Why do they expect so much of me? 
Society. 




-----






I hate this. I hate everything. I'm on the verge of breaking down. I need God. He is here. I need time. 



"But I warn you, once trigger her, she'll explode like a grenade."


I frown alot. That's just me. I have dark secrets I have never ever told anyone and I'm planning to carry it to my grave. But those dark secrets are slowly haunting me down. Making it hard for me to live. I really wanted to die. Want* at this point, at this time. 


"They don't actually care. They only care about themselves."


I wanted to die on this day called, today. 

Happy birthday My dear.

To be honest, I can't remember most of our memories together and I hate how the fact that I can't remember them. But I know for one fact is that they were great great memories. When I flip through pictures that have you and me and our clique together, I feel so incredibly blessed. 
We started off as frenemies and remember we used to hate each other so much. And remember when I had my birthday party and you couldn't come and you told me to reserve a packet of snacks for you? Remember when I used to cry and the whole clique will say"EH she's crying. Go comfort her!" Remember when you told me you were QHFF one of the brothers daughter. I WAS SO PROUD TO HAVE A RICH FRIEND HAHAHAHAAHAHAHA. Remember when we would sit together at the canteen and eat our meals together? Remember the aunty that we would always buy from, the stall that had mushroom soup, spaghetti Mmm. I terribly miss those times. Remember we used to be on the phone 2/3/4 hrs a day everyday?????."I'm outside your window! Yellow walls right?" We would talk about EVERYTHING. Well I know we've drift bit by bit but amazingly whenever we meet up, it just feels like we never left each other!!!! I know you live in yishun and that's Quite far away from cck but I want you to know that distance won't split us!!!! WE'RE INSEPARABLE RIGHT? Thank you so much for being there when I need you. For asking how's life occasionally! I'm so glad that you were being born on this day 16 years ago. I love you and I will always do. To me, you'll forever and always be my number 1. 

50 facts about me!!!!!!

1. I'm a Christian since 2011! Experienced God last year June, had never felt that blessed before.
2. Turning sixteen this year but my birthday is just before my o level so hmm.
3. I hate prawns, shrimps, abalones, oyster, clams but apart from those things, I kinda like seafood.
4. I am/was a dancer! Been dancing since I was 3 baby
5. Got a silver in swimming
6. Learnt piano when I was 7/8 and I ended up quitting cause I had no interest
7. Had art classes and my teacher would put fruits in front of the class and we would sketch them fruits!
8. Born in Sarawak ON THE BUS. LOLOL AT MY MUM'S TIME MANAGEMENT.
9. WANT WANT WANT to travel the world so badly that I am deciding to be an air stewardess for just 2 years!
10. Been to korea, china, macau(China????), hongkong, taiwan, bangkok, malaysia and Indonesia before. I remember there's one more but I forgot the country. OOPS!!!
11. I believe believe believe in horoscopes!!! LIKE REALLY THEY DESCRIBE ME SO WELL.
12. I believe in extraterrestrial mmm Yea.
13. I am LOUD when I'm comfortable with you.
14. I am super quiet and shy believe it or not when I meet someone new or if I'm around ppl I don't know.
15. I AM AN INTROVERT OK. Idc you believe or not but I really really love love spending time alone just not talking just walking the streets of Singapore.
16. When you're one to one with me, I will get super quiet and I will make ALOT of sense when I talk.
17. I am actually not a funny person.
18. I'm really boring like SERIOUS
19. I want my first kiss to happen with the RIGHT one
20. NEVER HAD ANY BOYFRIEND BEFORE. NEVER. I used to lie cuz ppl would think I'm cool but nope NEVER. HAHAHAHA. But I have flings thou. OH well.
21. I used to have 2 hamsters. One was FAT one was a roboski?????? Er. The FAT one ran away the small ones butt bled and died. RIP.
22. I LOVE LOVE LOVE MY ROOM NOW.
23. Used to be a nerd. Ah. Memories LOLOL.
24. I can play the uke really well I GUESS HAHAHAA. I practiced really hard OK.
24. I used to be a die hard fan of Justin bieber until his stinky attitude appeared.
25. I was american influenced since I was pri 2. BLAME DISNEY CHANNEL AND NICKELODEON.
26. I used to be a higher mother tongue student. But everything flopped oops.
27. I don't like guys that like me unless I like them back. YOU GET ME IDEKY. OMG.
28. I have 2 dreamcatchers at home. They're really beautiful and magical.
29. I had a phone since 7 years old.
30. I became dumber and lazier when I entered sec school HAHAA. TRYING to werk on that.
31. I am in choir and imma leader yo. ALTO LEADER YO SUPZ.
32. I LOVE LOVE LOVE VOLLEYBALL AND BASEBALL AND SOCCER. THESE THREE AH. BEST.
33. I kinda like math and science and humans. I just dread going to the class but when I do, I think that everything is so damn cool.
34. I'm a science humans person for now. I used to be a language and math person but now errm well.
35. I love my brothers and sisters in Christ!!!
36. I will only date a guy that's a Christian. If he's not I'll make him into one! Wouldn't it be a PLUS point if he worships like you do? ;)
37. I want to adopt a child in future. It sounds weird but giving birth sounds even scarier eee.
38. I like my subway to be ham PLUS Bacon plus tuna with lettuce and onion plus honey mustard and mayo!!!
39. I'm a libra! 9 oct is my birthday hehe.
40. I love chicken. Like REALLY.
41. I WANT TO EAT CHICKEN AND DRINK BEER WITH MY BOYFRIEND IN HIS APARTMENT. AH PERFECT.
42. I can cook. Hehe. Giggles.
43. I'm the only child.
44. I need a bolster to fall asleep.
45. I am a terrible morning person. I can CRY if you attempt to wake me up. HATE IT even though it's not their fault.
46. I am not a fag.
47. I am a YouTube addict. Watched basically every shit on YouTube.
48. Wouldn't get angry very easily. I will only get super annoyed.
49. I LIKE TO SEE OTHERS HAPPY MAKES ME HAPPY TOO
50. I LOVE YOU!!!