My I N S E C U R I T Y kills

I n s e c u r i t y kills me from the inside out.

I was afraid to tell people that I was insecure. Not because I was scared to tell others about my insecurities. I was afraid to tell them I was EVEN insecure.
People will always laugh at me when I say I'm insecure.
They were judging me because they thought 'Oh it's such a cliche for a girl to say they're insecure. They're just seeking attention.'

WELL HECK NO.

Many people don't know this but Im just going to say how insecure I was and how badly my insecurities affected me from time to time.

#1: I thought my face looked ugly when I sleep so when I'm in school and I want to lay my head on the table, I lay it straight down. You guys will think OH THAT'S A NORMAL THING WHAT. Erm no. I would crush my head on the table nearly suffocating myself just to not let people see me sleep. I would make sure there's no holes that people can peek through when I'm sleeping and I would make sure I put everything in perfect position So that I can look nice.

#2: I would look into the mirror, go to the toilet, to look in the mirror every freaking 5 mins. Just to look at my hair. I always thought my hair always looked ugly and it always looked messy so the sole purpose of going to the toilet was just to make sure my hair looks good and everything looks perfect. If there's no mirror, I would get a minor panic attack and I would be so tensed up until I get to see a mirror. But thankfully I overcomed this problem.

#3: I always thought that I looked really bad with specs and once I had a really bad eye infection until I had to put some really nasty stingy gel in my eye AND YET I REFUSED TO WEAR SPECS TO SCHOOL. I still wore my enlarging lenses. But hey, now my lenses not enlarging anymore. #Overcomedmyinsecurity

I used to think people will judge me because I'm a Christian and because of all the stupid and idiotic things I used to do in the past. I used to think they will be like "Cennic's a christian? Haha. Christian can scold vulgar??? Christian can flirt ah? Christian can wear until like that ah?"
Yea I know there's people that will be saying that but lemme clear this first HAHAHAHAHAHHA I'm so proud of myself. I never scold vulgarities for one year already and now I hate it when someone scolds vulgarities. HATE.
I NEVER FLIRT LIKE HOW I USED TO FLIRT. I find it disgusting now and I realized how disgusting I was.
I never wear really short shorts unless it's a really hot day or something but I learnt to be conservative I KNOW YOU WILL FIND THIS A JOKE BUT IT'S NO JOKE AT ALL OK. You will either see me wearing a skirt, a dress or jeans. That's all Hahahahhaq. And I find that whenever I wear short shorts, when I sit down the layer of fats at my thighs makes me feel disturbed because its really fat and like I don't like to see it do I'LL HIDE IT. But really being a Christian really changed me a lot and if you Guys still think she's faking to love GOd to show how cool she is YOU ARE W R O N G. You believe in what you believe in because that WAS my insecurity. Thinking how people think of me. BEEN THERE DONE THAT. Not going back. Kay back to topic. I was afraid to post stuffs about God because I was afraid of people judging me but WHO CARES NOW.

I used to think my face is really ugly that I told my mother everyday for a month that I am definitely going to have plastic surgery. I used to cry secretly about how ugly I looked. I'm serious and I haven't told anybody about this before but I think it's quite funny now when I look back.


That was how bad it was but believe me there's still a lot more of insecurities I haven't ovecome. But I will overcome all of them one day through the security that God gave me!!!!!

XOXO COCONUTS.

These are my insecurities. I overcomed it one by one, you can do with God's help! You don't need to seek for others approval to help you feel secure because others approval will only last temporarily. But God's approval last eternally. Trust me. Try to pray for your insecurities to be gone and you can overcome your struggles with insecurities. It will work like magic. Trust me. :)